I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Randomize
