i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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