Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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