Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
