smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize