So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
