Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
