my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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