yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
