i would punch a child for taco bell
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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