Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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