My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
