Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
