So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
