ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
high people should be assigned attendants
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
