What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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