Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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