i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just want nice things and good sex
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
