Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
