my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We had sex on a dog bed..
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
