I heard we made out
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
