thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
