I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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