k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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