She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
