I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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