Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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