tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
