We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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