Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
