By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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