u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
