who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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