I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize