i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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