Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
