I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
