Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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