she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
