You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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