I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
