This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Is it because I queefed?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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