Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Welp...herpes.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
