Whod you bang
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
