Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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