You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
