According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
