she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
