And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
