So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
